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Many people live in a sexless marriage, and some aren’t doing it by choice. The reason for the lack of sex can be nearly anything, and it can take a toll on your relationship. Here, we will take a look at the most common problems people face and how to address them to make your lives better.
Common Reasons for Sexless Marriage
Many reasons can lead to a lack of sex in marriage. Naturally, each case is different, and it can vary from couple to couple. Here, we will take a look at some of the most common reasons for the absence of sexual intimacy in the bedroom.
Health Issues
If you are in a sexless relationship, it can take a toll on you. Naturally, this applies only if you are not in this type of relationship by choice. Sex and intimacy are important for physical and mental health, and depriving oneself of it could lead to problems.
But interestingly, it can also work the other way around. A person can be in a relationship but still without sexual activities due to health issues. Those can include anything from physical injuries to psychological problems. Whatever the case may be, health issues are probably what causes most damage in the sack.
Mismatched Libidos
While it is normal for a couple’s libidos to fluctuate every now and then, it can often result in sexless relationships. While both you and your partner desire sex, you might not be on the same page (at the same time).
If you are in a healthy relationship or marriage, and this happens over time, you can fix it easily. All you need to do is talk to your partner and see if there are any underlying problems you need to address.
Stress
We all deal with stress on a daily basis, and it can take a toll on our sexual desire. There is no secret that we live in a stressful age. Our jobs are stressful, our future is stressful, and it can easily translate to our relationships as well.
Whenever a person has sex with their partner, it can serve as great stress relief. However, if the stress levels go above normal, a person can lose interest in emotional intimacy. If there are no problems in the relationship, you can help your partner go through this. Of course, you can always find a sex therapist that may help you fix the problem.
Lack of Communication
Communication is the key to a healthy relationship and can solve many different problems. However, there are men and women out there who are having trouble with it. If you are in a relationship where you can’t talk about your wishes, desires, and fantasies, it could be a huge red flag.
We understand that talking about your kinks requires a lot of courage, and it will leave you vulnerable and exposed. But you need to talk to your partner and tell them what you like and desire. It is the only way to improve your sex life and have a wonderful time together.
Erectile Dysfunction
There are many reasons why a man can have problems with his erection. It could be due to their lifestyle, health, stress, anxiety, medications they’re taking, obesity, depression, etc. And the main problem with ED is that it only gets worse unless you address the problem. A person will keep feeling bad, and every time they fail to get an erection, the problem will become deeper.
Sex Drive
Sex drive or libido is different for each person. While we mentioned that there is a chance that two people have mismatched libidos, the problem can lie in an individual. Low libido can be a side effect of a treatment, and almost anything that applies to erectile dysfunction problems.
But sometimes, people simply have a low sex drive, and that’s it.
Mental Health Issues
Mental health plays an important role in our lives and relationships. If a person is having mental health issues, they won’t be able to perform sexually as well as if they were fine. It can be a serious situation that will affect not only the frequency of sex but also other aspects of their lives.
Other Issues
These are just some of the problems you may face in your life, and the list goes on and on. A person can have sexual anxiety, a rough relationship, unrealistic expectations, and so many other reasons that will determine the quality of their sex life.
How to Address the Issue
The first and most important step towards solving the problem is putting your finger on it. If you understand the reason behind your poor sex life, you will have an easier time solving the issue.
Naturally, the solutions will depend on the type of problem you’re facing. But, some general guidelines might help you along the way.
Communication
Communicating with your partner is more than helpful. Together, you will be able to solve many problems. And there is a high chance you could solve all your issues if you just talked to each other. That way, you can see the world through your partner’s eyes and understand if there are any other problems you need to address.
Understand the Underlying Issue
Once you understand what the problem is, you will have a significantly easier time eliminating it. For example, obesity might lead to ED, and if that’s the problem, you can start working it out. Moreover, sexual anxiety can happen to both men and women, and addressing the cause of your self-doubt can make it disappear. The only thing that’s certain is that you will have a challenging time trying to fix the problem without knowing what it actually is.
Work Your Way Around Your Schedule
If your job is causing you to stress or neither one of you can find time to spend with each other, you can start planning and finding a way to work around your schedule. It can be difficult, especially if you are busy. But with careful planning, you’ll be able to achieve it.
Get Professional Help
There is no shame in seeking professional help. Those people are here because it is their job to help us with various problems. If having sexless marriage is something that bothers you and your partner, and if you can’t solve it yourselves, find someone who can.
There are excellent therapists and counselors out there that can be surprisingly helpful. Over the years, people developed the idea that getting professional help is shameful, weak, and bad for you. And that is ridiculous. It is a big step to take, and it can be scary, but making an attempt to fix your marriage is something that you should focus on, and it will make your life better and more fulfilling.
Summary
Relationships can be complicated, and there are so many things that could go wrong. But the key to a healthy relationship is communication. It can do so much for you and your partner, and it will ensure that both of you are on the same page.
Whether you are having doubts about your body, health problems, mismatched libidos, different sex drives, or anything else, the only way to solve the problem is to locate it.
Finally, if you cannot fix the issue with your partner, the safest option is to seek professional help. A therapist will guide you through the process and help you understand what the problem is and how to eliminate it.
